花鳥風月 Kachou Fuugetsu
by Writing-Fantasy
Summary: -Going under serious rewrite (again)- kachou fuugetsu (花鳥風月) - (phr.) lit. "flower, bird, wind, moon,"; experience the beauties of nature, and in doing so learning about yourself. "if you were born with the weakness to fall, then you were born with the strength to rise."-rupi kaur. In the end, it wasn't anything big that made her realize. Eventual Strong!Sakura Pairings undecided.
1. i

**i.**

**i think she's caught between**

**who she _is,_**

**and who she _wants_ to be.**

桜

**_H_**_er fingers_ skim the edge of her mirror, leaving a visible smudge from her oily hands. Her mouth, once set in a blank line, turns into a frown.

Her hair is pink. _Pink_. Like an annoying wad of bubblegum stuck on the concrete, sticking to your shoe. Her hair isn't pretty, but she's tries-Tries her hardest to feel pretty in her own skin.

Of course, she gets compliments every now and then-From her parents, from Naruto and Kakashi and even Iruka (and once upon a time, Ino). But her parents are her parents as Naruto is Naruto. Kakashi and Iruka are both her sensei's, obviously they'd look for any excuse to make her feel better.

But, she can't help but think (_know_), that she's not pretty.

Because she is only complimented by those who will obviously say anything (-even if they don't mean it, even if they're just saying it-) to make her feel better. She wants someone else to compliment her, someone like Shikamaru, or Hyuuga Neji, Kiba Inuzuka and especially Sasuke.

She wants to be pretty-Beautiful, gorgeous. Noticeable besides pink hair and a wide forehead.

And yet, as she stares into a gleaming mirror, barely alight with moonlight from her open curtains, she knows she is not even close.

She curls her legs to her chest, staring at the mirror-Staring at the monster with pink hair, moldy green eyes and a big forehead that rivaled the width of Konoha's walls. Her fingers reach up, staring at the handful of pink hair she clutches between her nimble fingers.

There was a rumor, in the Academy-It feels like so long ago, since she'd heard it.

_"Sasuke-kun likes girls with long hair-But not that he'd ever like yours, Sakura. That'd be _too _much pink,"_

The girls had laughed at her, teasing her that either way-Short or long-Her hair, her eyes, her face, _her looks_, would never, ever catch Sasuke's attention, because she was not beautiful, or pretty or anything.

She was just a monster with a wide-forehead and pink hair.

Of course, in the back of her mind, Inner protests loudly-Trying to catch her attention. Sakura, however, pushes her back. She's just a figment of her imagination, something she's created to make herself feel less lonely, less worthless, she supposes. Inner goes silent.

Sakura has never had a problem sleeping before and yet, as she sits before her mirror, she feels restless and finds that the comforts of her bed are no longer interesting.

With people and without them, she is always trapped in eternal judgement, from others and herself.

Who is she, anymore?

A part of her remembers warm days, a curious child glancing at a boy with the brightest blue eyes she'd ever seen and sunny blonde hair. He'd seemed like the nicest person ever, and when she reached out to play with him, her mother had snatched her shoulder-Gripping so hard Sakura thought her shoulder would break.

Her mother dragged her away from the bright, warm boy. Dragging her back into the cold sense of reality that no matter what her opinion was on-Whether friends or looks-She would always be judged. By the people around her, by her friends, by her parents, and by _herself_.

And maybe-a part of her likes to believe that it isn't the reason-that's the reason why she broke it off with Ino-Not for a boy, but in fear Ino would one day become just like them; Mindless, judgmental creatures that always told her what she wanted and what she needed, was something untouchable of her standard, rank, whatever.

So, as she stares into the mirror, she forces a fake smile on her face. At first it looks real, convincing, shouting- _Yes, I _am_ happy! No need to worry!_ but then her eyebrows furrow together, her lips tremble, and tears drip from her green eyes. She sobs softly into her palms, her nightgown feeling like a thousand pounds on her small frame.

Mustering all the strength she has left from her night-time self-esteem beating, she stands and stumbles quietly to her bed. Perhaps, she can live out another night, another mission, another self-esteem beating and another breath.

She slips under her covers quietly, face staring into the distance.

She has two dreams that night, a perfect, glamorous dream of a perfect Sakura. The next, a horrible, nightmare of what she really is.

She's caught between two.

桜

_"I got the targ-OWW!"_

Sakura twitches, a vein growing on her forehead as Naruto's loud voice echos in her ear-piece.

Tora, the violent cat, had gotten lose once more. The seventh time this week. In the back of her mind, she silently wonders why the poor owner keeps the damn cat and why her team hasn't just let the cat get away at this point.

She glances into the clearing, watching as Sasuke tears Tora off Naruto. Naruto lets out a high-pitched shriek, causing Sakura and Sasuke to cringe at the loud noise emitting from their ear-pieces.

Sasuke slams his fist onto the top of Naruto's head, a vein on his forehead visible in annoyance.

Slowly, Sakura begins to climb down the tree, her hair catching on a branch and yanking her backwards. Yelping, Sakura instantly reaches up to press soothing caresses over her scalp.

There are tangles in her pink hair due to the fact she'd awoken late-Probably from staying up so late just to judge herself... Well, that and the horrible nightmare that summarized her insufficient life. Besides that, her hair was tangled because she didn't have enough time to brush it before she zoomed towards their teams meeting spot, and even then, Kakashi was two hours late.

Granted, she had slept for more than half the time, taking Naruto's offer to lay her head in his lap (it was the lack of sleep-That was why she'd agreed, that was it. Lack of sleep, nothing else) which left no time for her to brush her hair before the mission had started.

"Itai! Oi, Naruto, please help me! My hair's tangled on a tree branch!" Sakura calls, fingers digging into the knot of hair stuck on the branch.

As if Sakura's single offer to help her lights up his day, Naruto beams brightly, running happily to her side. "Of course I'll help you, Dattebayo!" cries Naruto.

While Sasuke cradles Tora in his arms (because for some reason the damn cat likes him) he stares at them unamused. When Naruto finally helps her untangle her hair, Sasuke grunts.

"Hurry it up, don't slow us down with your idiotic hair,"

Sakura's self-confidence crumbles with the simple insult, hands clutching her hair softly and shamefully. Naruto makes it his job to loudly proclaim her hair is beautiful and try to get into a fight with Sasuke.

Of course, she stops them-Screeching about how they need to get Tora back to Madam Shijimi before they lose her all over again.

While her self-confidence is once again destroyed, she pushes it aside to finish off the dang mission and get on with the day. Kakashi joins them amidst their travel to the Hokage Tower, making an excuse about how he had run into an old lady with so many bags and had to help her home.

Just like always, Sakura accuses him of lying before turning back to walk with the team towards the Hokage tower once more. After receiving their reward for catching Tora again, the team leave-Naruto still complaining about how they've only been able to do D-rank missions.

As they walk towards the training grounds again, Kakashi drawls out lazily, "I guess we'll be doing spars today. Naruto and Sasuke you can battle, Sakura and I will do something a little different,"

Instantly, Naruto is on his case, yelling nonsense about him being a lolicon and Sakura being the poor victim. However, Sakura feels a little special, finally receiving some sort of better treatment rather than being left-out again.

Her happiness is cut short. Kakashi gives her a worksheet on chakra theories, stating that she will sit under the sakura tree at the edge of the training grounds as he watches the boys. Digging into his kunai pouch, he pulls out a dull pencil (with barely any eraser left to top it off) and hands it to Sakura giving a half-hearted thumbs up before slowly walking towards the boys again, Icha Icha book already in hand.

Sakura scowls to herself, reading over the worksheet while mumbling profanities under her breath.

It isn't fair, how Sasuke and Naruto _always_ get Kakashi-sensei's attention. How she's forced to find her own resources, train her own mind and body in simple warm-ups she's not even sure she's doing correctly. Why, oh why, couldn't Kakashi treat her like a student too?

Of course, self-judgement rears it's ugly head-

**Because you're worthless,**

Sakura seemingly shrinks.

**Because, no matter what, you'll always be a monster worth nothing. You should give up-You're too weak to do anything anyways.**

With her self-esteem practically non-existent, Sakura sets herself to work on the worksheet, finishing it easily. Theory had always been a strong spot for her-Anything that had to do with brains was instantly her strong point. Strategizing, planning, theory, mathematics-She could do it all. But when it comes to anything physical, she's an utter wreck.

**Unnoticeable by appearance, unnoticeable by skill. Really, you should just give up already.**

Sakura frowns, running a hand through her tangled tresses. Her appearance isn't that bad, is it? Now that she thinks about it, perhaps her hair really is idiotic. If a tree could easily snatch a single knot, who is to say a enemy nin can't do the same?

Sasuke was right-Perhaps he hadn't been talking about her hair in general, perhaps he had been talking about the _length_ of her hair. To her, it seems there is a chance Sasuke really could still like her hair.

However, she pauses. She likes the length of her hair, likes the way the long waves fall over her shoulders and to her mid-back. She likes the way it flutters when the wind is right, or the way it shines when the light hits it in a certain way. Her hair may be ugly to others, and to herself-But in a twisted sort of way, Sakura loves her hair.

**If you cut your hair, you'd be even less noticeable.**

Her frown returns until her mind digs deeper. So what if she was unnoticeable by appearance? What if people looked more towards strength? Now that she put her mind to it, Sasuke gave full attention to those who were stronger than him, in a way, it was almost like Sasuke was praising them.

Sakura sat up straighter. Exactly-She didn't need her _appearance_ to be noticed. Her just starting career as a ninja could blossom into something beautiful-Amazing. So what if she wouldn't be gorgeous by the end of it? If she could get stronger, expand her chakra reserves-Her strength could be her beauty.

Besides, what was beauty if there was a war? What was beauty against weapons, bombs and destruction?

Beauty is nothing-Sakura has spent her life worrying about nothing.

The self-judging part of her speaks, hissing. **What makes you think you can be strong? You couldn't even stand up to those bullies as a child; You had to depend on _Ino_ to save you. Even your namesake is weak, a symbol of short-life. You're _nothing_.**

As if her thoughts catch up, a single blossom floats onto her worksheet.

While the blossoming season had been over for a while, it shocks Sakura to realize a few, wilting Sakura blossoms remained on the tree on the corner of the training grounds.

Placing the blossom in her palm, she stares at the blossom, recalling the symbolism.

_Sakura blossoms represent how short life is..._

Sakura instantly perks up at the remembrance, back straightening once more.

_How short and how _beautiful_ life is. Don't forget the show of fleeting nature... And a time of _renewal.

Her mind was racing now.

_No, my name may signify a short life, but also how beautiful one can become in that short, period of time. Life is beautiful, whether short or long-If I try, then maybe-Maybe I can truly feel... Beautiful. I can go through my time of renewal._

Her inner-judgement was protesting, screeching this is not what she meant. But Sakura is too far gone.

_I can renew myself. I don't have to stay a monster. I can be more than that; than _this!

Determination fills her bones and her mind instantly begins planning a trip to the library.

Grabbing her worksheet, she skips towards her Sensei.

"Kaka-sensei~" Sakura chirps, in a much better mood. It seems the spar has just ended, though Naruto and Sasuke are arguing again. Kakashi turns towards her as she thrusts him the worksheet and pencil.

"I hope you don't mind if I leave training early, I realized I wanted to check out a book on chakra and jutsu theory today! Is that alright?" asks Sakura innocently.

Kakashi scratches the back of his head and Sakura prays that he doesn't remember that Jutsu and Chakra theory are some of her best points. And if he does, maybe he'll think nothing off it.

Kakashi stands quietly for a few seconds, the only sound between the two being the loud arguing of Naruto and Sasuke.

"Alright, I guess we can end training early today-"

"What?" Cries Naruto, turning to Kakashi as if he'd never been arguing with Sasuke. "You can't do that! Training is about learning cool new jutsus!" Screeches Naruto in outrage.

For the first time, Sasuke grunts in agreement.

Kakashi sighs, turning to look at the boys. "Maa, fine, I'll teach you a new jutsu. Sakura, I'll let you off early,"

Her heart hurts. He doesn't even care, does he?

She manages a smile, nodding before taking off in the direction of the library. However, as soon as she leaves the training grounds, her smile fades. Her hands twist together, as if she is a wringing a towel full of water.

When she enters the library, she finds it practically empty with the exception of a few bustling nin and the Librarian reading some cheesy looking romance novel.

Quietly, Sakura slips to the Genin side of the library, carefully choosing books. Her parents had some books as well, from her late Grandfather's library.

Using some of the mobile ladders, she pushes them to one of the higher shelves. On her tippy-toes as well as being on the ladder, Sakura studies the spines of each book, reading carefully their names before picking out those who's title catch her interest. After reading the short summary, Sakura piles the chosen books in her arms.

In her kunai pouch is her library card which she tries to keep with her at all times. Stumbling towards the front desk, she sets her rather large pile of books on the counter and gives the librarian a cheesy smile.

The librarian sighs, murmuring something akin to "Oh, my dear Rei-chan, I will return in a moment." before sticking out a hand for her library card. Digging through her kunai pouch, she finds the card in the side pocket before handing it over to the librarian.

Sighing, the librarian begins to scan items, mournfully glancing at his book from time to time, until all of Sakura's books are checked out.

Practically shoving the books off the desk once he finishes scanning them, he dives back into his book. Sakura stares at him, unbeknownst to him, for a little while. Well, she doesn't stare at him, she stares at the book in his hands.

Her eyes skim the back blurb/summary.

_When Rei Miyamoto moves to small town Shiozai, she doesn't expect to meet one of the strongest and handsomest ninja around, Takashi Komuro. After being saved by Takashi, Rei falls in love. But after a fall-out, it comes to Rei's attention that another women is in Takashi's life! Saeko Busujima, a gorgeous women ninja and even a legend among the citizens, is also in love with Takashi. With seemingly more intimate feelings towards Saeko, Rei rushes to make Takashi love her back. Can she do it?_

_RATED 2ND BEST ROMANCE NOVEL OF THE YEAR, LOVE IS A SWORD THAT STRIKES, IS STUNNINGLY WRITTEN..._

Sakura rolls her eyes. Her mother had read that book-Saeko got with Takashi in the end. What once starts as a book of this aspiring 'Rei Miyamoto' it eventually shifts towards Saeko's story. Sakura cad clearly remember the day her mother came blubbering to Sakura and practically forced the Academy student to read the book. Her mother seemed to forget that the book was filled with perverted scenes that scarred Sakura for life.

Turning, Sakura snorts. That librarian was in for a surprise if he wanted Rei to get with Takashi. As Sakura walks back, she realizes she wants to be like Saeko, the female nin, strong, beautiful and all above noticeable.

Saeko had an odd hair color too, didn't she? Purple, long eggplant purple hair. Maybe, one day, Sakura could be like her-Beautiful and Strong. That sounded a lot better than just being pretty or just being strong.

Skipping away, Sakura arrives home. She unlocks the door, expecting to see her parents home only to see the house is empty and void of life. Not that she is surprised, her parents are traders after all.

Sighing, she kicks open the door a little wider. Setting her books on the decoratory table in the hallway towards the living room and kitchen she makes a quick stop in said kitchen.

On the island counter is a note.

_Off on a trading expedition to Yugakure, Mrs. Yuuko will come in to check in on you every now and then. Sorry for leaving on short notice, Love you!_

_-Your Parents, Kizashi and Mebuki Haruno._

Quietly, Sakura sets the note back down and turns towards the doorway. She walks back down the hallway, grabbing her books. After locking the door, she takes the books up to her room, setting them on her desk.

Staring at the books, it suddenly appears to her that she should get a notebook for notes. Digging through the side pocket of her kunai pouch again, she found her wallet. Originally, she'd been saving up to get a really nice smelling lily shampoo as well as a honeysuckle perfume. But now, such things are seemingly useless.

While the girlish part of her still wants to get such items, she pushes those thoughts aside.

_The stronger you are, the... 'better' missions you go on. The.. more dangerous missions you go on the more money you make. It'll be easier to get such items when you get stronger._

Nodding at her thoughts, Sakura takes off with her wallet in hand.

桜

_"Hi, welcome_ to Kazumi's Ninja &amp; Civilian shop, I'm Kazumi, how may I help you?" A perky woman asks as Sakura pushes the door open to her shop.

The lady had midnight blue hair, a color closely resembling Sasuke's hair, arranged in an intricate braid. Though her hair is probably long, it seems short due to the way the hair is braided, like it's melded into her skull. Bright blue eyes stare down curiously at Sakura's small figure.

"Oh! I'm, uh, looking for a notebook, journal, you get it," Sakura rambles nervously.

Kazumi smiles. "Of course, here, follow me," Before she leads Sakura off into the sea of aisles she turns to scream, "WATCH THE REGISTER HIROSHI!"

Smiling warmly once more, Kazumi leads Sakura through the interesting things. Some things for normal civilians, just trinkets or furniture. Others for shinobi, like kunai, explosive tags and chakra paper.

"So, just a normal notebook?" questions Kazumi, glancing at Sakura.

"Well, um, basically. Just something to take notes in," Sakura replies awkwardly.

"You're a kunoichi in training?" Kazumi asks, turning to walk down a larger walkway than between the aisles.

"Ehh, you could say that," mumbles Sakura.

Finally they reach an aisle full of notebooks and journals of all sizes. "Here, I got a special one I think you might like," Kazumi states before Sakura can browse her options. Kazumi leans upwards towards the top shelf, tugging down a single journal. It's a brown leather journal, bound with a latch on the front. A sticker on the journal cover explains in a colorful, large font-

_CHAKRA BOUND NOTEBOOK. OPENS WITH CHAKRA TOUCH! _

_Senses the owners chakra and only opens when the owner activates it with their chakra!_

Sakura blinks as the woman offers it to her. "Trust me, it'll help when anyone wants to pry into your personal life,"

Sakura flusters. "Oh, but I'm really just using it to take notes..." Her voice trails off. The notebook was very tempting. But she didn't need it... But then again, it'd be nice to keep her theories a secret, plus it would be kind of funny to watch the boys squirm in curiosity.

"Umm, Alright, how much is it, though?" Sakura agrees, glancing towards Kazumi.

"Since your a kunoichi in the making, I'll give you a discount. 1,000 yen for that journal,"

Sakura nods as they begin walking towards the counter.

"Hey, umm, You're a kunoichi, right?" asks Sakura suddenly. Kazumi blinks.

"Yes, why do you ask?" Kazumi inquires, tilting her head.

"W-well, I.. I really like my hair but, um, I fear long hair is impractical for the shinobi lifestyle. But, you, you.. Well, your hairstyle..." Sakura's constant ramble finally comes to an end, her flustering brightly due to the air of awkwardness she's brought about.

Kazumi gave a perky smile.

桜

_Sakura hadn't_ instantly gone into training, Kazumi says she should enjoy herself a little before. So Sakura does, everyday after training she went to Kazumi's shop to learn different, complex hairstyles that would allow her to keep her long hair but keep her safe from enemy nin. And it wasn't like she's instantly given up on training, Kazumi empathizes the importance of starting small.

So Sakura begins with increasing the speed of her hand seals. Everyday, she gets up much earlier and practices them over and over again for ten minutes until her hands cramp up and grow sore. She repeats this cycle right before she goes to bed as well. She stretches any time she can and is constantly repeating theories under her breath. She has even begun running in the mornings, leaving the house early to do half a lap around Konoha before jogging to Team 7's meet-up spot.

Kazumi is one of the biggest helps in her life. While Kazumi cannot train her due to the fact she has to run her shop (along with her kind friend Hiroshi), she gives her insight, and even gives her worksheets to strengthen her mind and tips for training.

And now, as Sakura completes the intricate braid that molds into her scalp, she feels proud. The braid curls around the front of her face before swirling together to form a blossom right behind the right side of her head.

Though she knows she is not fighting anyone today and there are no chances anyone will grab her by her hair, Sakura slips hair traps into the woven strands of her pink tresses.

Hair traps were commonly used in the Warring States Period, things like senbon, or spikes slid into hidden places of your hair. Sakura had scratched herself the first time she tried to put them in, however, Kazumi soon taught her how.

Now, as she slides the final hair trap into place, she stands. Her dress swings by her by her thighs. Blinking, she stares her at her dress a little longer. Oh goodness, someone could probably pin her by such large dress flaps. It suddenly occurs to Sakura why Ino wore such little clothing-Why every kunoichi she came across had such little on.

At first, Sakura had assumed kunoichi had been much more confident with their bodies than civilians. But it's so much more than that. Sakura does have yen left over from buying the journal, the hair traps and the hair pins though...

Grabbing her wallet off the side of her desk (which is crammed with books on all sorts of subjects), she counted off the yen stored away.

4,272 yen, Possibly enough. But then again, she really wants to stock up on sealing paper, inks, kunai and shuriken-Possibly get one of those really cool weapons from Kazumi's shop as well.

Groaning into her palm, Sakura shakes her head. She grabs her kunai pouch, shoving her wallet and library card into the side pocket. She walks towards the door, but pauses, running back to grab her journal as well as a few books just in case Kakashi decides to leave her out again.

Then she leaves her room, a soft smile on her lips.

桜

桜 **= Cherry Blossom tree / Blossom**

_**The braid Sakura is currently 'wearing' is called the Dutch Flower Braid. **_

_**4,272 yen is roughly 40 dollars in us cash. Why does Sakura have a ton of money? Keep in mind she was saving up for shampoo and a perfume. Shampoo commonly costs are around 20 dollars, but I thought Sakura would have less, therefore 10 dollars. Perfume, on the other hand, is very expensive. I predicted Sakura would have around 50 dollars saved for her perfume, which is 20 dollars less than the usual 70 dollars for perfume. Sakura therefore has 60 dollars. She spent 20 dollars of that on hair traps, the journal and the hair pins. so yeah.**_

**_Oiii! LOOK AT WHAT i'M REWRITING. FOR THE SECOND TIME. HAHAHA. kill me._**

**_don't, actually. I've been looking to restart this book because the first few drafts/ideas seemed too far-fetched not to mention over-used._**

**_I really wanted to create a story where it's nothing huge, or big that happens to Sakura, it's literally just a moment of realization._**

**_Her moment of realization, the realization that got her started literally came off the length of her hair after it got caught on a tree branch. That's it. Nothing too huge like 'oH GOD MY PARENTS ARE DEAD'_**

**_just 'Don't slow us down with your idiotic hair'. that's it. _**

**_I wanted to cut her hair in the beginning, but I figured that'd be too much of a step. Sakura believes Sasuke likes girls with long hair, therefore her desire to be noticed by them/him would ultimately 'be gone'. Sure, she might get a little attention from the shock of cutting her hair, but it wouldn't stay._**

**_Besides, Sakura spent years growing out her hair, no matter how self-conscious Sakura is about it, i'm betting a part of her really loved/loves her long hair._**

**_I also feel Sakura would be very self-conscious about her looks and probably has anxiety and possibly social anxiety because of the bullying she went through. I firmly believe Sakura was constantly judging herself, to the point she could start crying._**

**_Kazumi and Hiroshi are my OC's. Kazumi isn't a mentor, in fact I highly doubt Kazumi will ever train Sakura. However, this women will play a big part in Sakura's confidence. _**

**_I slipped a really stupid Easter egg in here. like, really stupid. iT'S ONLY BECAUSE I SHIP THEM. _**

**_The Easter Egg was 'Love is a Sword the Strikes' All the charactes from that 'book' (the one the librarian was reading) are actually from high-school of the dead. I ship Saeko and Takashi and I think Saeko would be a really good role-model for Sakura. Yes, I understand Saeko has a sadistic side to her, but she even talks about how she had a crush on a boy-Just to let you know, this girl is super beautiful, she could totally get this boy without even trying-but didn't admit her feelings because she felt like he never deserved a monster like herself. She's ashamed of herself-She doesn't like finding pleasure in hurting others. So yes, I think Saeko is a role model for Sakura._**

**_Besides that, I hoped you liked the first chapter._**

**_bUT WAIT! You screech, grabbing me by my hair-_**

**_What does the title have to do with anything?_**

**_Well, if you pay attention, Sakura finds herself/learns more about herself through nature (The tree yanking her hair back, the withering Sakura blossom when she becomes discouraged, etc.). So yeah. _**

**_I hope you enjoyed, as I said before! _**

**_See ya' (not anytime soon) soon!_**

**_Writing-Fantasy_**


	2. ii

**ii.**

**there is _freedo_**_**m**_ **waiting for you,**

**on the breezes of the **_**s k y ,**_

**and **_**y o u**_ **ask "what if i _fall_**_**?**_ _**"**_

**oh, but my darling,**

**what if you **_**f l y ?**_

桜

_**R**__unning along_ the edge of Konoha fills Sakura with a sort of happiness; a sort of determination filling her being to the brim, a smile reaching her eyes like a flowering bud. Something about running along the walls, the more forest-like areas of the village, fills Sakura with a feeling she cannot explain in full.

Nature, she knows, is a divine entity-Or so she believes. A second person watching over your shoulder with a comforting grip whispering _"Please take care of me as I take care of you,"_.To her, nature is just as divine as the female body, bodies that have the world at their feet, creating life seamlessly, brilliantly-_Beautifully._

Tucking a few strands of loose hair behind her ear, Sakura continues to jog. She is still caught up in her thoughts when another body slams into hers, causing her to stumble and fall onto the figure that has just crashed into her.

"Yosh! I'm v-" The voice instantly trails off, dragging the 'v' along for several moments before going speechless.

Sakura blinks, Inner voice revving to life as she takes in the appearance of the boy before her.

_**oh mY KAMI THERE ARE CATERPILLARS EATING HIS FACE AND-wait a second, those aren't caterpillars... THOSE ARE HIS EYEBROWS!**_

Though Inner begins to make prejudice against his appearance, Sakura wards her away. She supposes if people held prejudice against the way she looks as well, she'd be just as horrid as the judgement Inner screeches in hysterics.

"H-Hello!" Stammers the boy, cheeks turning red with embarrassment.

Sakura blinks curiously, taking his offer to help her up by his (shaking) hand sticking out towards her.

"Hello," Sakura replies, much more calmly than that of the boys loud cry. He is blushing horribly, face going carnelian. He clenches his eyes shut.

"I am youthful Rock Lee, at your service, you, youthful Sp-Spring Blossom!" He cries in introduction, face still red. Sakura finds her cheeks brightening at the compliment in his introduction. She hopes it fades quickly though, as her blush is a crimson red stain on her face that makes her look even worse than normal.

"Eto... Oh! I-I'm Haruno Sakura!" Sakura finally says, bowing quickly.

Lee's blush grew brighter as he gives a quick bow as well. "That's a fitting name for such a lovely flower like yourself!" He exclaims, "I-If I can, may I join you on your morning jog!?" He asks, stuttering only slightly. An excited look falls onto his face as he stares eagerly at Sakura.

Sakura hesitates, but nods with a tentative smile. It wouldn't be that bad to have company while she jogs, in fact, the thought of him wanting to join her makes her feel... happy.

As they begin to run, Sakura adds, "I apologize that I'm not very fast and can't run very long..." She smiles sheepishly, "I've only been doing this for a few days. I hope to improve my speed soon!" With a large smile, Sakura clenches a fist determinedly.

"Th-that's very youthful, Sa-Sakura-chan! I have some extra weights from when I just s-started training and I would gladly l-lend them to you!" Offers Lee, voice growing louder with each word and a lighter blush dusting his cheeks once more.

Letting out a soft huff of slight exhaustion, Sakura nods enthusiastically. "That'd be really nice, Lee-san!"

The boy smiles brightly, beginning a small conversation with Sakura as they jog next to the wall. The two share training tactics, exercises and the promise to meet again the next morning to jog together once more.

As Sakura walks towards Team 7's meeting spot, she realizes she has just jogged the around all of Konoha with Lee and that she is rather late to meet up with her team (Even though she knows Kakashi will be even more late than her)

A panicky yelp escapes her lips as she bolts towards team 7's meet-up spot.

桜

_When she_ arrives the boys are already there, watching as she collapses onto the bridge, falling onto her knees.

She'd sprinted from the other side of Konoha all the way back to the meeting spot, panicking as she thought the possibility of Kakashi _actually_ being early (even though she knew that was pretty much impossible).

"Wh-whoa! Sakura-chan-_Your hair!_" Naruto cries instantly, running over to check on her.

"E-Eto...?" Sakura blinks in confusion, reaching back to touch her hair only to remember the complex and intricate flower braid in her hair as well as the spiky hair traps. It'd be a bad idea to touch her hair. "O-oh! My Hair!"

"Wh... Whoa! Sakura-chan, your hair looks really pretty!" informs Naruto, cheeks blushing brightly and blue eyes glowing. Another blush falls onto Sakura's cheeks.

"I-uh..! Well, I decided that long hair was impractical for a ninja lifestyle." She notices Sasuke is watching, gazing over at her hair curiously. Her bangs aren't covering her forehead, or framing the sides of her face-She is totally and wholly revealed. The thought makes her blush once more. "So, I, um, I didn't want to cut my hair, because I really do like my long hair so Kazumi-san taught me how to braid my hair in different ways to keep it super short."

Naruto blinks, rubbing the back of his neck before yelling "That's amazing Sakura-chan!" and flashing a large smile.

Sakura sweat-drops, he doesn't understand it.

"Teme-_Teme!_ Look at her hair. Look at it! It looks like a _flower,_ Dattebayo! And-" Naruto reaches to grab her hair but she bats his hand away, remembering the hair traps.

Naruto blinks, before smiling sheepishly, probably thinking he might've ruined her hair if he had touched it. Of course, that isn't the case, but she'll save the surprise until one of them did grab her hair.

Grumbling, Sakura stands up again, brushing the imaginary dust off her dress skirt before making a face. Her fingers dance over the embroidered circle on her dress. She clutches the skirt between her fingers and opens her mouth to ask the boys if they knew a good place for ninja clothes but halts.

...

It would be alright, she decides she'll ask Kazumi instead. A part of her wonders why she doesn't ask, ask them the question but she doesn't ponder on it any farther.

Releasing the fabric of her dress, she looks back up the boys. They've gotten into another argument. Her mouth opens once more, to yell at Naruto who is always loud.

She falters.

Why does she always yell at Naruto anyways? Because of prejudice built from her parents? Her mouth shuts once more. Suddenly her life felt like a puppets string, the puppeteer being everyone's expectations.

"Both of you, quit fighting," Sakura finally says, not directing or playing bias into her words. This time, she will wash away the prejudice everyone had built and expects her to follow.

Naruto freezes in the midst of his yell turning to look at Sakura, wincing as if expecting a punch from the pinkette.

Nothing.

"You're not going to hit me?" Questions Naruto expectantly. A tick grew on Sakura's forehead and her fist slams into the top of his head. "_ITAI!_ I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" The boy yelps, rubbing the top of his head.

"hmph," mumbles Sakura, crossing her arms and leaning against the red bridge.

After waiting a few hours, their sensei finally arrives, Naruto jumps to his case after he attempts his lame excuse, causing Sakura to roll her eyes while Sasuke mumbles a "Tch,"

"Maa, maa, Besides that-We've got a mission,"

The team perks up slightly but is prepared to be let down. "Today, we'll be weeding a civilians yard!" He informs, taking out his Icha Icha book.

Naruto is quick to whine about it, but Sakura shrugs off her slight disappointment.

Together, the team follow Kakashi to their new client.

桜

_"oh, you_ genin 're just too cute!" Giggles the old lady, Aina, as they weed her garden.

Sakura blinks, blushing slightly while Sasuke and Naruto grumble, returning to their work. "You know, My sons 're ninja," Croons the old lady, smiling pleasantly at Sakura. "One of em', He and his wife, 're always out on 'em missions," She shakes her head, smile fading to a frown.

"They're gone so often my poor grand-child has barely even met the two of 'em," She tsks, rocking back and forth on her rocking chair. "Well, what can I-" Another argument breaks out between Sasuke and Naruto and another tick grows on Sakura's forehead as she weeds the garden. She's about to yell at them, but she notices Aina's soft smile.

"My children used to argue like that Ha..! I'm so old," she laughs, a bright smile on her face. Sakura giggles, shaking her head at Aina.

"B-baa-chan!" A familiar voice calls.

"Hiro-chan! Welcome home," Greets Aina, smiling at Hiroshi who holds a box of dango in one hand and a few bags in the other.

Sakura stands quickly in surprise, dusting off her dress skirt as she scampers over to help him. "Hiroshi-san, Hello!" Sakura greets excitedly, grabbing the box of dango and helping him take the stuff towards Aina.

"N-nani? Sakura-chan, wh-what are you doing here?" Asks Hiroshi, stammering slightly. Sakura is use to his stutter, however, having heard it almost everyday for awhile now.

"Baa-san hired us for a D-rank mission," informs Sakura, setting the dango box on the table by Aina's rocking chair.

Aina makes a sound of delight as Sakura begins to go back to weeding the garden.

"O-Oi, Sakura-chan, b-be careful, some of th-those weeds are p-poisonous!" Adds Hiroshi quickly, leaning over the fence of the porch to inform her.

"Really?" Asks Aina after a second, tilting her head. Hiroshi shakes his head, an utterly defeated look falling onto his face.

As Sakura plucks the flowered vines off the side of the house, she cringes at the sound of Naruto and Sasuke's argument getting out of hand. Aina snorts, watching the boys begin to chuck weeds at each other in anger before her eyes widen.

"'ey-'EY! WATCH MY FLOWERS!' cries Aina, sitting straighter on her rocking chair. Now, while the boys were throwing weeds at each other, they had automatically went with the larger plants which happen to be the actual flowers in the yard.

Sakura scrambles to the boys, trying to get Naruto to stop throwing flowers and weeds but, as always, his emotions cloud his reasoning. She wants to hit Naruto, like she normally does when he's being an idiot, because the both of them are being unreasonable. But if both are, then shouldn't she at least try to reason with Sasuke?

So she moves to Sasuke, trying to reason with him as well but he, just like Naruto, is letting his anger control him. Finally, Sakura is put up with it, and she's ready to knock out her idiotic teammate.

Flowers are still flying in the air and Aina looks ready to faint, so Sakura raises her fist...

_...and hits Sasuke._

The yard quiets and Sakura is thrown into panic. She hit _Sasuke!_ Hit him! She was going to hit the idiotic one! The one being... _Unreasonable..._

But _both_ of them were being unreasonable. Both of them were throwing the flowers, and both wouldn't be reasoned with, in this situation, both were the idiots, but her mind... Her mind was still holding prejudice against Naruto, something her parents planted at the root.

(_"He's a monster," hissed her mother as she tugged Sakura harshly away from the park, "don't ever befriend that kid, you hear me, Sakura?"_)

However, this doesn't faze Sakura. It's still _Sasuke,_ the boy she admires with all her being, the boy who deserves love after.. after...

"KYA! Sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to-Well, I mean, I sorta did but-You both were-and-and..!"

"It's alright," Sasuke breaks in, straightening and rubbing his bruising cheek slightly. "It doesn't matter anymore,"

Sakura quiets, reaching out towards him but instantly he bats away her palm harshly. "I'm. Fine." He hisses.

Sakura flinches, taking a sudden step back. He's mad, and he needs to cool down. Taking a deep breath, Sakura finds the only courage left clinging to her. "As I said before, I apologize for hitting you but I won't say I didn't mean to. Both you and Naruto were being unreasonable and ruining Aina-baa-san's yard. We're here for a mission to help her yard, not ruin it,"

Her throat feels dry and the part of her mind that is always afraid of judgement, of crushing expectations whispers her fears into the back of her head.

_**He'll hate you,**_ the voice in her head moans, _**who wouldn't hate such an awful girl anyways..?**_

Turning before she can process the emotions on his face, in his eyes, she returns to weeding Aina-baa-san's yard, getting back to getting rid of the flowered vines hugging the house. Hey... Hasn't she seen these flowers before? In her genin books.. What's the title of the book again..?

Suddenly, Hiroshi returns from the inside, glancing towards Sakura for a brief moment as he sets a plate full of the dango he brought back on the table next to Aina.

"Hey, Hiroshi-san!" Sakura-chan, eyes glimmering as she holds the flowered vines.

Hiroshi practically jumps into the air, his being comically turning black and white as metaphorical lightning bolts flash behind him. His hands grip his hair in utter panic.

"Sa-Sakura-chan! Th-those are p-poisonous! Pu-Put those d-down this in-instant young l-lady!" Cries Hiroshi in panic. Sakura blinks innocently, glancing at the devil's weed with uncaring eyes as Hiroshi stumbles around in blind panic.

"Hiroshi-san, they're only poisonous if you eat them or get their toxic essence straight into your bloodstream," Sakura points out innocently. Hiroshi quiets, wiping sweat of his forehead in relief.

"Which is why I was wondering if I could have some!"

Hiroshi let out a high-pitched screech, body jolting in surprise. Once again, the metaphorical lightning bolts flash around him. "N-No! A-absolutely not, y-young lady! You c-could hurt yourself o-or worse! K-kill yourself! Ka-kazumi would have m-my headdd..." moans Hiroshi.

Aina-baa-san laughs, finally calm after Sakura saved her garden. "Oh! You want to learn about 'em poisons? Ya' know, Hiro-chan's parents harvest 'em weeds for t'eir own weapons." Hiroshi falters at the mention of his parents but continues to shake his head.

"B-Baa-san, sh-she's twelve!" reasons the man, gripping his hair in frustration.

Aina snorts, rolling her eyes. "The first time you harvest 'em foxglove you were six, don't make an excuse,"

"B-but there was a wa-war!" Retaliates Hiroshi, throwing his arms in the air, "I h-had to build u-up a poi-poison im-immunity if I di-didn't want to sell out K-Konoha!" He gestures wildly to Sakura, "B-But she's n-not in a war! She do-doesn't need to for-force herself through that a-at such a yon-ITAI! Baa-san!"

Hiroshi grips the red bump on his head, while Aina holds her cane stiffly, a tick on her forehead as she grinds her teeth irately.

"She's twelve, the perfect age to start her immunity to it. Besides, she's a girl, she can handle 'em poisons. I thought I taught you better-respect kuniochi of all ages ya' brat!" Aina-baa-san replies, teeth still clenched in anger. Taking a deep breath, Aina nods. "Sakura-chan, go ahead and take 'em devil's weed, alright? While you're at it, take some of the foxglove,"

Hiroshi gives a cry of outrage but Aina just rolls her eyes. "If you come over here after 'em training sessions you got with your team, I'll help ya' brew up some poisons to put on your weapons. We'll also begin... What was that damn term again? Eto... Ah, Mithridatism,"

A smile grows on Sakura's face and she nods wildly to Aina's suggestion. Holding the plants she quickly sets aside the poisonous types as yet another argument breaks out between Naruto and Sasuke.

"That's it! Naruto, go weed over there and I'll weed between the two of you, if I hear another argument I'm hitting both of you!"

桜

_The weeds _that grow on Aina-baa-san's house make Sakura happy. Not because those very weeds will possibly help her ninja career, but because of the way they just...The way they grow.

After being torn down multiple times, weeded from the side of the comfy little home, the vines mange to grow back without a break, once more creeping up the sides of the house. Sakura supposes, she wants to do that. After being taunted as a child, beat herself up and be told down, she wants to grow, each time blocking a hit and continuing upwards.

But.. Can she really? That day, when she hit Sasuke and tried to apologize, she couldn't even get through to him without beginning to feel like she wasn't... How could she put it? Wasn't meant for it? For playing peacekeeper over and over again even against the person she really, really likes?

Becoming unbiased is extremely hard and tiring, Sakura doesn't like it. Her head screams logic and her heart screams favor and it's just horrible.

She sits silently, watching poison trickle into the beaker. After a few days of practice with Aina-baa-san, Aina had let her take home the kit of test-tubes, beakers and poisonous weeds. Sakura was aloud to brew the poisons, but not work on her Mithridatism without Kazumi, Hiroshi or Aina nearby to ensure her safety.

The poison made her feel sick, sometimes she threw up or felt so groggy she thought she would pass out (Especially in the mornings, though Lee was very kind about the fact and suggested postponing the use of the weights as he put her health above her training).

Thinking back to the plants, Sakura pushes aside the thought as she finally finishes brewing a poison. Quietly, she pulls the flask from the brewing pod, letting the purple poison swish around at the bottom of the beaker. Smiling at the poisons, she puts them aside, letting the solution cool on the beaker pod.

Setting aside all the poisonous plants, she picks up her pen, opens her journal and makes room on the top of her desk by shoving aside several books that clutter the surface.

Nibbling on the edge of her fingers, she lets the ink flow over the page, scribbling theories and possibilities-Ideas of all sorts.

And as the night grows darker, Sakura finishes her notes. She smiles at her theories, several drafts for a new sort of seal in front of her eyes. She brushes her fingertips against the designs, smiling excitedly.

They are beautiful.

Yes, this is the beauty Sakura will gain. She may be ugly with her horrific hair and mossy eyes and big forehead. Yes, in these seals painted across her notebook cover she will find the beauty she's always dreamed of. She is ugly, but her fuinjutsu isn't.

A few pages back are notes on her poisons and she's thinking of testing them with samples of her blood but she needs expensive equipment in order to be able to see the results. She grumbles to herself. How on earth will she be able to buy the equipment?

She knows they probably have the right tools at the hospital but they presumably wouldn't even let her touch it. She huffs to herself, slouching onto her table. It is night, the room dark and the only source of light being her desktop lamp.

Suddenly the door opens and her mom pokes her head in, face alight with concern.

"Sakura-chan, sweetie, are you alright? It's 9 P.M and you haven't eaten,"

Sakura pauses, glancing up at her mother and repeating "9 P.M?"

"Yes," answers her mother, tilting her head.

Sakura stands up quickly. "I, uh, sorry I missed dinner! I got really excited with taking notes, creating theories and making poisons," Sakura confesses, blushing with embarrassment.

Her mother pales. "Poisons?" she whispers, looking horrified at what her baby is experimenting with. She finally takes sight of Sakura's poison brewing station and gulps. She glances at he daughter.

"Sakura-chan, honey, you know... It's never too late to pull out of this whole... Ninja thing," her mother informs.

Sakura pauses, back turned to her mother. Her face hardens and a bit of her hurts. She's always known her parents have never supported her choice to become a ninja but that never stopped her.

"Yes, I know," answers Sakura back, monotonously, her shoulders slumping, "And, on second thought, I'm not very hungry,"

Sakura sits back down at her desk and flashes a fake smile at her mother. "I'll eat a little later, okay?"

Her mother nods hesitantly. "Just.. Just know your kaa-chan and tou-chan love you very much, we just want the best for you," Mebuki exclaims honestly, "And we're very worried for you. So if you feel like this is too much for you, remember, it's never a bad thing to bail out, okay? It's never-"

"Yes, I get it," snaps Sakura aggressively, hunching over her work so that her hair obscures her face. "I want to be a ninja, and I'm going to be one. _It's fine._"

Her mother silences, opening her mouth and then closing it. She leaves the room.

Sakura's hands clench to fists and she angrily rubs her eyes, trying to get rid of the tears.

Of course, even her parents don't believe in her.

She bites her lips so hard she tastes blood and she watches as tears slide down the cover of her journal. She swears aloud, albeit softly frantically rubs her eyes and cheeks again.

She'll prove them wrong, she will.

Setting aside her journal, she tears off some sticky notes on the corner of her desk, reaching over the mountain of books to obtain one. Quickly she writes-

_1\. Get access to expensive equipment._

_2\. Test out your poisons._

_3\. Test out your fuinjutsu seals._

_4\. Prove everyone wrong._

Perhaps the last was a little cliche.

Sakura keeps it anyways.

桜

_Sakura watches_ her kunai curve to the left but slam head-on into the middle of the target. Kakashi had once again pushed her off to the side, not that Sakura minds much anymore, considering she has new ways to keep herself occupied.

She can hear the boys tussle in their spar from where she stands and, if she wanted to, could turn her head to the right to witness them in said spar but she doesn't. Teamwork is about trusting-Sakura doesn't need to watch them fight as some sort of confirmation that they can fight-She just needs to trust that they can.

Flipping another of her few kunai into her hands she twirls it absently on her finger before gripping it in her palm, blade faced outwards and throwing it precisely.

It veers a little to the right, not quite hitting the center, but rather the ring before it. Grumbling, Sakura does it again, throwing the kunai at the target. This continues on for several more throws before she becomes bored with it. She knows she'll have to practice it more to get better, but being alone, pushed aside, is starting to get extremely lonely to her.

She runs up to the target, taking it down from it's place on the tree and plucks the kunai's off, walking back to her little area of the training grounds. Digging through her pack, she pulls out her sealing scroll and stores the target before finding her other sealing scroll for weapons and storing away the kunai.

There's something Sakura really wants to do, but she has to wait. Biting her lip, she glances at the boys deep into their spar, their gazes serious as they clash. Kunai, jutsu's and all blasting against each other in a fearsome battle. Or as fearsome as a bunch of twelve and thirteen year-old's can get.

Sakura shoves her stuff into her backpack and throws it over her shoulders, walking towards Kakashi-sensei.

"Um... Sensei, may I leave early? I had some.. Um.. I had some errands to run before I get home so I..." Sakura furrows her brow. Could she be lying any more obviously? Groaning internally, she glances up at Kakashi.

He seems to process this, and looks as if he is having a debate within his head but finally answers. "Sure, Sakura-chan, if it's really important," he finally says, eyeing her.

Sakura beams. "Arigato, Sensei! If I finish beforehand, I'll come straight back to practice!" Sakura informs before bolting out of the training grounds.

Following the roads, she finds her way to the hospital. Taking a deep breath, she walks inside.

The place smells like disinfectant and vanilla. The lady at the front desk has bags under her eyes, hair in a loose ponytail and black glasses perched on her nose.

"Um, excuse me...?" Sakura calls, feeling anxiety crawl into her stomach.

The lady glances over slowly, setting down a pen. She smiles tiredly. "Ah, hello. How may I help you today?" she asks, rubbing her temple but managing to keep the smile on her face.

"I was wondering if there was any err... Small jobs I could take on? Like.. An assistant or something..." Sakura says. Quickly, she adds "Y-You don't have to pay me or anything like that, I just want to help out and get some medical knowledge is all!"

The lady frowns, then glanced back at her clip board. She stood up and turned around, walking to a giant filing cabinet and pulled one of the drawers open. After rummaging a bit, she pulled out a paper and smiled with triumph.

Quickly, she struts back over to Sakura and hands her the paper. "We've got assistant jobs for genin, we pay as well but you need your parent's permission to start," she answers, giving a bright smile. "You looking to be a medic?"

"I.. I'm not sure, but I wanted to learn more about it," answers Sakura honestly. She plays with some loose hair out of her braids. Taking the slip, she gives a wry smile to the woman. "Though, thank you for the slip, I'll see what I can do!" Sakura proclaims.

Leaving the hospital she stands a few steps away from the door.

With pursed lips, she heads home rather than back to training.

She got more done at her house in her room than she ever had on the training ground soil in her little area alone anyways.

桜

_**i took forever to update and I apologize?**_

_**i greatly apologize. I know what I want to happen in this story but it was like i lost my motivation to write and then school just kicked it up a notch and everything just went to shit like i cannot tell you how many days i've been up till one am because of homework. **_

_**It's break thankfully now (I haven't done any of my homework though and break's almost over so (9TTwTT)9 it wasn't meant to last) anyways. We progress further into the story. The boys still don't know about the hair traps. huehuehuehuehuehue they'll learn though. Oh they will learn. **_

_**There aren't any *'s today it seems. I feel as if this chapter clarifies itself better than the first and I really just wanna be able to publish this so yeah. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and hopefully I won't have such a LONG pause inbetween chapters. Thanks for reading! :)**_

_**See ya'**_

_**Writing-Fantasy**_


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